"Don't" is a strong word. I feel the need to clarify that, although the post from last night was very real (and for that, I cannot apologize) but maybe I could have used a better choice of words. For instance "Try not to..."
I have to inform all of you that I am not offended if you say any of those things. It takes quite a bit to offend me. ;) I may not even notice if you say, or have said, some of those lines. Like I stated, you may very well hear those words come out of my mouth. I don't expect anyone to know the "perfect" the words to say; I am living this situation and I haven't a clue as to what I would like to hear. I would be worried if someone was so accustomed to this type of event that he/she knew the exact phrase to provide comfort. Who in the world would want to be so familiar with this type of traumatic experience that the condolence simply rolled off the tongue? I, for one, hope to never encounter another human being who must deal with this hideous beast.
Oliver in Brazil: April 2024
1 week ago
4 comments:
In a very early blog you said you were thinking about writing a book. I'm looking forward to it. You have an eloquent way of writing that can only be beneficial. If you only published your blogs, it would be helpful. You're a great counselor - and you probably don't even realize that!!!
Dear Jackie,
You are doing such a great job of educating through this difficult journey you are going through right now. Talking about grief is not one of the strengths of our culture.
To your friends, I would add to your list: don't be afraid to talk about Bill or how Jackie is feeling in the months to come. Her grief is constant and long. Not bringing it up denies its existence and is way more hurtful than seeing her tears. You can't take away her lonely pain, but you CAN make it bearable—by asking .......and then really listening.
What all this honesty really does is share the most important thing in our human lives—love. Love of family and friends is what really matters most. Jackie and Tyler, Joe and Ann, Sharon and David and all the other people who know and love Bill can use all the honest support and love that all of you have to offer each other.
Aloha, Ardeth (Aunt Judy's friend)
jackie never apologize for writing what you feel at that moment. That is true and raw it's what the world needs more of. If everyone could say what they mean and mean what they say the world would be such a better place.
I loved your blog entry about what not to say. I feel like I could have written it myself....never apologze but know that 99% of the people dont know what to say to ease your pain....and they never will.
Anna Hogan
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