Random Thoughts

Bill definitely can tell the difference when he is on a break from the harsh medication... which is only one week out of four. He doesn't feel the desire to constantly live in a slumber. Instead, though, he lies awake in bed unable to sleep and dwells in his own thoughts. I think I would rather sleep. Work is my escape - sleep is his.

After we got the incredible news on Monday, Bill was awfully quiet and obviously didn't want to discuss anything. The past few weeks we have had many conversations about a variety of topics. Things that people should not have to discuss until they are well into their eighties. Sometimes I catch myself thinking, "I am only 33, this is not supposed to happen." Then I think about Tyler being only 3 and my heart bleeds for him. In all honesty, we were both SHOCKED by the good news! I really think Bill had difficulty at first accepting the fact that the trial was working, and he would be forced to keep fighting. I knew he needed a day or two to absorb the news and clear his head, so I let him be. After today, I think he has come to terms with the fact that he must keep fighting, if not completely for himself, then for "the boy" as we affectionately call the small person with whom we live.

I know I regularly post about our humbling experiences, and how blessed we are to have such amazing family and friends. While our whole ordeal has never been a secret, there were parents in my class that I was sure did not know of our situation. Last week I wrote one of the hardest letters I have ever written to let them know what was happening. I know word of mouth sometimes takes care of it, but I felt the need to formally tell them why substitutes were often needed. I received an overwhelming rush of support, prayers, and love. When I returned to work on Tuesday (after Monday's appointment) I had a card on my desk from one of the families in my room. They made a monetary donation to the City of Hope Research Center in our name. I get weepy just thinking about it. The thoughtfulness and generosity of others continues to amaze me.