I was given a whole new perspective today. I went in and talked to Tamie (my principal) and she shed a new light on the "cease fire" medication issue. Let's just say, I did not keep my unhappiness about lowering the dose a secret. In reality, this medication needs to be something he can live with... not sleep through, and actually function on a day to day basis. Knowing this disease isn't ever going away, these pills may forever be a fact of life. If lowering the dose means he can partake in life's events, then I vote for that one!
Today was a HUGE difference in his energy level. He showered, put in contacts, went to the store with us, and even drove there! He did more today than in the last 8 days combined. Friday is not only Halloween, but official Lung Draining Day! His appointment is at 9:30am... which for a teacher, is equivalent to substitute suicide. Thankfully, Joe (Bill's dad) is able to take him. I did get the guilt trip about how I will be "partying" with 2nd graders while he has a needle stuck into his back. I gently reminded him that I too, have had a needle stuck in my back... while I was birthing his son, in labor for 36 hours, pushing for 3 hours, only to have an emergency c-section... but I'm not complaining. ;)
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"That which does not kill you only makes you stronger." Your mettle is being tested severely as never before. If you can imagine "it", "it" will happen. (Substitute your own noun for "it".) If you have supreme faith, the troubled water will calm. Truly, I am distressed at YOUR distress. I have tears in my eyes and great sympathy in my heart for what you and Bill are suffering through. Your struggles are greater than mine were. I can only imagine...but I am glad that you and Bill had a good day. Both of you needed that bright spot of happiness and hope. A little perspective from the professional side: all drugs are poisons but some are not as toxic as others. You are allowed to buy some at the drug store but for others you require a permission slip issued by a person trained in dosing these poisons. More is not necessarily better. It's OK to back off and let the body recover from the poison in order to resume it later so as to distroy the real killer. Mike's post of 16 August 2008 should be re-read. Fortitude and courage, h-higgins
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