I know the term "cancer cures" seems like an oxymoron when dealing with a disease such as this, but I am convinced of its truth. It cures pettiness and puts life into perspective. It cures the worry of the small things in life and cures the ability to hold grudges. It cures fighting every battle and enables you to pick only those important. It cures an endless amount of life's small problems. The difficult part is that those minuscule problems are replaced by something bigger than one can imagine.
Cancer also cures some physical things as well... it cures the ability to remember to take the trash cans out, and cures the thought of putting the clothes from the washer and into the dryer in a timely manner. It also cures the desire to fold the blankets left over from a tent made by a 3-year-old. It cures the idea that dirty dishes cannot sit in the sink.
Bill is definitely feeling the effects of the medication. He actually had a craving today, so I ran to Cheesecake Factory after work to get his requested salad. Eating (or lack thereof) has again become an issue. I am very much looking forward to next week when he is off the harsh medication. It is heart wrenching to watch him sleep 22 (or more) hours per day. He is right upstairs, yet we so desperately miss having him around. I know it's the medication causing it, but after having the day I did, it would be nice to vent to him while he's actually awake. Although it probably benefits him to sleep through the teacher trials currently festering; he should consider himself pretty lucky in that aspect. Thankfully, tomorrow is a new day, and it can only get better.
That's How You Know
1 week ago
5 comments:
Jac,
The only thing you need to worry about is taking care of yourself and Bill and Tyler. As you said, the rest is not important at this point and does give you new persepective. Have I told you lately that you are amazing and my inspiration? Your humor as you go through this trying time shines through in your incredible writing skills and brings joy to all who surround you. "Let it Be" is another way of saying "Amen" and is a saying that gives me peace when I most need it and puts all the small issues into persepective. It was a saying originated from a 15 year old girl who was battling cancer. I wore it on a bracelet for awhile and now I have it engraved on a rock on my desk. You are doing everything you can, Jackie. Continue to put it in His hands and "Let it Be." All my love, Tamie
You are so right about a different perspective and your writing is helping all of us see that...hang in there, you are such a strong person and a great wife and mother...a true insperation to us all!
Julie
Bill,Jackie,and Tyler
I,ve really never told anyone except my wife what i'm about to tell you and the blog. Every morning when I wake up I will go out into the backyard and say my prayers. I'll look up into the sky as I'm praying and wait for a sign. What is the sign I'm looking for? A shooting star. Today is only the second time I've viewed one while I was saying my prayers for you and your family. The first was when you were diagnosed with cancer. I'm really someone who needs to see proof to believe it, but I do believe God sends me signs every once in a while.
Bill, I prayed for God to reach down and touch you with his hand curing you instantly, that's when I saw the shooting star. Bill you know me, I'm not the most church going person but I do believe!
Keep fighting the good fight God works in mysterious ways.
Love to all
Mike
i will run to cheesecake for you next time.... you know im ALWAYS wanting to help you!!! always looking forward to your blog... to see how bill is doing and i know in my heart GOD is watching over him. you all are in our thoughts and prayers. LOVE AND ADORE. audrey,frank and " your" ethan:*)
Jackie,
You know I'm stopping by on just about every Friday.
Please, please, use me to vent. I have two good ears. Or, if like today, I can keep Tyler busy, I will do that as well.
I'm here for you!
All you have to do is ask...
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