We Know Better
5 days ago
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Anger, and Bitterness, and Patience, Oh My...
Today ends my two-week vacation... I am both happy and sad about it. I have this heavy feeling of, "How do I do all of this AND work full time?" But the other side of me knows that I need to go back to work to maintain some sanity. Kudos to stay-at-home moms, because it is a tough job, and I honestly don't think I have the wiring to be home all day. Don't get me wrong, I love my 13+ weeks off a year, but I always know that I 'get' to go back. I have been having dreams about school, so I know I must be somewhat ready to return. I am far more patient (and a better mom) when I am working. Although we had a great weekend, I am finding that I am angry about our whole situation. Not angry at Bill, but bitterness toward cancer, I guess. My fuse is shorter and I have to make a conscious effort to lengthen it. I don't like living that way, and it is not fair to Tyler or Bill. Hopefully going back to work will help me... *fingers crossed*
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2 comments:
Hey Jac: Being a school employee, I totally know your feelings of wanting to return to school after holiday break and summer vacations. With every life experience, I literally melted in the arms of an awesome support system. They gave me the strength to realize that we would get through it. We raised our children together, we were there for each other in births, illness and death, divorce, marriages and grandchildren. These people are more than co-workers, they are family.
After 32 years, I am now fearfully and excitingly looking at retiring in June and wondering what the future holds after life at school. I will take with me years of lasting friendships.
Join me, as we go off to school today, knowing how blessed we are in every aspect of our lives because we have a school family and the Bartak family.
Love you all...
i pray you feel better about all this soon.
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