Two Steps Forward...

I hope I didn't celebrate too soon, but the past few days haven't been as "up" as the previous few weeks. I have a strong feeling being back on the meds is catching up to him. Bill is back sleeping most of the day and only getting up a few hours at a time. I actually meant to post last night, but I put Tyler to bed and decided to stay with Bill for awhile and ended up falling asleep... around 8:15! At some point in the ealry morning hours Tyler crawled into bed with us, I have no recollection of this, nor do I about Bill asking me if he should go downstairs and turn the lights/TV/computer off. Apparently I said yes. I was so tired and obviously needed some extra sleep. I think I got more sleep last night than I have in the past week combined. It was so nice!

Monday is the BIG appointment and although I am not nearly as nervous, the butterflies are creeping up on me. It seems cruel to have to go through this every two months; actually, cruel doesn't even begin to describe what this is... hell is more like it. Sometimes I have an out of body experience and think, "This can't be real. How are we getting through? Can we survive?" Then I stop myself, close my eyes, grit my teeth and run - If you are going through hell, never stop or slow down to analyze, just run until you get to the other side and can escape the heat.