Today was so much better than the past few days! Bill and I had a long heart-to-heart last night, which helped me to feel better about things. I don't think it helped Bill as much, since he is still struggling with the pain management. Although the draining went as planned, he is having some serious soreness and swelling on one side (where they went in). We will probably head back to the hospital tomorrow to have him checked out. Better safe than sorry!
I have to extend a huge thank you to everyone worried about us. We have been inundated with calls, e-mails, comments, etc. of encouraging words. Please know that a few bad days does not, in any way, mean we are giving up hope or throwing in the towel. We greatly appreciate all of the thoughts and prayers.
Cancer has many, many layers. You have to be a pretty hardy soul to make it through from start to finish. If you are the patient, you have to find the first layer of strength just to absorb the major blow after the initial diagnosis. Then it's onto the world of scans and waiting and appointments and referrals and medications... Many more layers are needed for those.
Being the caregiver ... we need different layers. I call it protection. We need a layer, actually an iron glove, to fit tightly around our hearts, because they take such a beating over time. We have to find another layer of strength to sit and watch as our loved ones endure endless trials and tribulations, just to live. We also have to find a voice we've never used before to be their advocate when they can't speak for themselves. Even if speaking leads to a high-pitched falsetto. ;) God only knows where that layer of stamina comes from when the cancer-grip tightens and the stress level rises. God only knows...
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5 comments:
Hi Jackie,
I'm glad things are better. I can swing by today and look at Bill's abdomen if you want.
Christina
Jackie,
So many emotions. It can be exhausting just experiencing them all.
Don't forget to take care of yourself in all of this.
Thinking about you.
Irene
Hello Jackie and Bill,
If only we, humans, had the power to fix, or at least understand, suffering and why it is unfortunately found in abundance on our planet. Praying, in Chino Hills, for the suffering to end and, instead, to be replaced with health and happiness for both of you. With love...
Sincerely,
Susan and Kevin
Jackie,
My heart just breaks reading the blog. The ups, the downs, I can't even imagine what you are feeling.
I love seeing you enjoy the good days. I know we are all praying for many good days, and as few bad days as possible on the way to remission.
I love you both very much,
Todd
PS And Tyler too, but that goes without saying!
Hi, Jackie,
I've been worried about you all weekend and so glad things are better for you both. Showing emotions and letting yourself go every once in awhile is not a sign of weakness but a sign of your strength. Let those around you catch you when you need to fall and rebuild your strength and stamina with our love, hope, and prayers. When you need me, you know where I'll be:). Thinking of you, Tamie
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