A New Outlook

I have a new outlook regarding death and the way in which someone dies. Losing someone suddenly is MUCH harder for the family, but drastically better for the "patient", since they don't experience months and months (in our case) of suffering. Losing someone due to a terminal illness is actually better for the family, since you are given time to say good-bye; yet this route is far more difficult for the patient. I am not saying one is "better" than the other, because both are horrific, I am just noting that there is a difference. Since I thankfully only have experience one way, I fully appreciate and took advantage of the time we had together. I also value the heart-wrenching conversations we had, and I have no doubts about the love we shared. I also was able to let him go at the end knowing I had not one regret... that is a gift in itself. I think these things play a huge role in the grieving process and has lessened my pain.

I don't usually quote fellow bloggers, but I recently read one that struck me as quite true. She is also a fellow widow, although lost her husband suddenly. She quoted Charles Swindoll (a pastor) who said:

I’m convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you. We have choices within our attitudes.

This is so true, especially as I navigate my way through the various stages of grief. The mind is a powerful thing. It IS up to me to live a happy life, or sit and wallow in pity. I don't pick the latter... Bill wouldn't want that either. He'd tell me to "buck up" and "suck it up", so that is what I am doing. One day at a time...