Today marks one year. I can't believe it has been a full year... and I can't believe it's only been a year. The past few weeks have been rough. The anticipation and reliving the memories have not been easy on the emotions.
I'm unclear how I should feel today. Obviously the wound is reopened, but I am not sure if I should be back at square one with grief, or if I should be slightly happy to have survived the first year. Today I feel a little bit of both. I am proud of how we are doing, and I can't help but smile when I look at my four-year-old who is growing up faster than I would like. Bill would be proud of us, too.
While I don't feel today should be any type of "celebration," (and part of me wanted to curl up in the fetal position) I do feel that I need to honor him and do something in his memory. So, today I went to the dermatologist and had an all-over skin check. Every year I will have an emotional reminder to head to the doctor and get checked.
Melanoma does NOT discriminate... the color of your skin does NOT matter... protect yourself and your loved ones. Even if you think you "tan easily"... you are at risk. EVERYone is. It IS genetic! If anyone in your family has a history, you have a far greater chance of getting melanoma. PLEASE protect yourself!
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The Grief Shift9 years ago
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Total Mass Confusion~9 years ago
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The New PostSecret Book10 years ago
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5 Years Ago Today10 years ago
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Three years post transplant!!12 years ago
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Hiatus?12 years ago
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Saying Goodbye12 years ago
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Tree Trimming12 years ago
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I believe in signs14 years ago
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Relay for Life14 years ago
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You Wanna Be a Rock Star?14 years ago
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9 comments:
Jackie,
Wendy and I met today and we were both thinking of you.
I will spare you what my grief counselor told me on my first anniversary and just say there will continue to be ups and downs but you will never be back to square one, never, even if it might feel that way. You have come so far, continue to take good care of you and Tyler.
Irene
I can't believe it has been a year. You are right-seems like it just happened and it seems so long ago. I am so proud of you! I know you don't want to celebrate and that's ok, but you DID make it. And Tyler made it. So I'm going to celebrate a little bit just for you.
Wish I had some good words to help the pain in your heart... Know that there are lots of people praying for you, especially today.
Thinking of you, sending prayers your way, and turning your words into actions.....calling the dr for my appt!!!!!
luv ya,
daune
Jackie,
I continue to think and pray for you...especially today. As always I am impressed with your strength! I love that you went to the dermatologist today. I wish you and Tyler love and peace.
LITB, Stephanie
Jackie,
I continue to think and pray for you...especially today. As always I am impressed with your strength! I love that you went to the dermatologist today. I wish you and Tyler love and peace.
LITB, Stephanie
I came over to respond to your comment on my blog, but seeing your post reminds me of what my sister said when she came up on a year follow her husband's death. She said that anticipating the anniversary was worst than the actual date. Maybe you can relate to that.
I'm throwing up a prayer for you and your son.
Now this is how I responded to your comment on my blog...
Thanks Jackie. I really appreciate it. I can send you a card if you want, or just fill it out for you here.
Diet!?! Yes, but maybe he's a regular soda trying to become a diet. :-)
If I picked my real-life hero...it would be you. You are one of a kind.
Kim Smith
Thinking of you now and always.
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