Sunday, June 6, 2010

Last year...

Although we had a really nice weekend, I can't help but think, "Last year at this time, we were...." And I find myself reliving the last few weeks of Bill's life. I wish I could say that I enjoy the memories, but I do not. A year ago (this weekend) I was arranging for Hospice to come in and help us with the end-of-life procedures. When I mentally recap the events I honestly can't fathom how in the world I survived. Thankfully, adrenaline kicks in and you just do what is necessary while standing in the eye of the storm. If only I could figure out how to get my adrenaline to ignite as the one year anniversary approaches... I could use a little numbness for that too.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I wish I had a better suggestion, but all I can come up with is a wine or martinis. You are in my thoughts (and always will be).

-Alison

Jenn said...

I was thinking about you this morning and thinking about your next few days/week. I was wondering what you are planning or not planning. It's such a bizarre time, as far as thoughts go... I really have no idea how I will feel or what I will do when my 1 year comes up in October... I feel your pain... truly, I do...
sorry, not too encouraging, eh? sometimes words just don't cut it...and I cannot think of a single thing to say :( sad for all who knew him

Anonymous said...

I too wish I new what to do or say....it would be so helpful for my December date. I plan on having a drink, this I know for sure, maybe the drink that Eric I always enjoyed together. Nonetheless I wish you the best during this time and hope that you can find strength in God to get you thru this time.
Love,
Hallie

daune abadie said...

Always thinking about you Jackie!!!!
-daune

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry to hear about Bill's passing. He was a great person in high school and apparently continued to be that great person well into manhood and fatherhood.

Steve Boesen
Class of 85