When a crisis hits there are usually two ways people seek help in handling things. Either they shut down and keep things secretive, OR reach out to others and let people in. We chose the latter, mainly because secrets turn into rumors, and I thought we needed all the prayers we could get. I actually enjoyed living in a fish bowl the past the year and a half, and felt comfort in people knowing what was happening without me having to actually say the words. (I desperately needed the fish habitat.) The love and support was incredible and if I had to do it all again, God forbid, I would not change the path we chose.
Although I still update here every so often, it feels a little odd to still live in the same (proverbial) fish bowl. I'm not sure how to fix this, and I am not sure I even need to fix it. I suppose it's simply that I would like to draw the blinds once and awhile and live incognito among the "normal." I definitely don't want to be defined by a tragedy, and hopefully won't live forever being "the one whose husband died". Who knows... maybe I'll change my mind tomorrow, and I'd like to reserve that right.
We Know Better
1 week ago
4 comments:
Close those blinds whenever you need...you've earned it! I enjoyed spending the day with you and hope we can get together again soon for some fun!!!!
Thank you for the celebrating my husbands life with me today I was touch that you were there. I am looking forward to meeting with you soon. As for the fish bowl.....just a thought....it has been super helpful for me to see your journey. It helps me put things into perspective and I look forward to hearing what you have to say. Maybe that just means we should be friends.
Totally understand this... It's nice people knowing what is happening, so you don't have to explain it. On the other hand, (as I read somewhere) it's like you're under a microscope sometimes and people just wanna see how you'll act/react to things. And they say the darnedest things. My "friend" told me that her husband saw me and said I didn't look well. I wanted to say "Really? I'm pretty sure I'm gonna look crappy for awhile, but hey, thanks for being so positive!" BUT, I didn't, just bit my tongue! Ahhhh!! Jenn (Rebecca's friend) :)
You need a castle for your fish bowl.
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