Euphoria

We are still on quite a high from the party yesterday. By the time I went to bed last night the backyard was pretty well cleaned, tables and chairs stacked, etc. It really was amazing to see the transformation! I honestly don't know where to begin my description/feelings about the day. Imagine that... me, without words. Every time I looked out into the yard I saw a swarm of intense love and support floating through the air. I felt like it was our wedding day, all over again. I kept reminding myself to take it all in because it was so incredibly amazing.

We figured that over the course of the day around 200 people passed through the backyard. From the Amat Clan (Bill's high school), to the Golden Staff, to the Claim Jumper locals, the list is really endless. The Brittons, the Elliotts, the Wadkins, the Morgans, the Gorgones, the Kapsners, the Golondziniers, the Nicassios, I could literally go on and on. To say "thank you" simply does not begin to show our appreciation. Again, speechless...

I will be totally honest to admit that I was not exactly on the band wagon for this party. It was an idea that was far too large for me to fully understand if the work warranted the result. I was apprehensive and the "Celebration of Life" idea (although I know it's becoming popular) did not sit well with me. Maybe I was in extreme denial, maybe I was too tired to think about having a party, maybe I was unwilling to face reality... maybe it was all of the above. It was an emotional day (for many) and Bill's speech did not help the cause. I realize that was something he "had" to do for his own peace of mind, but that was the absolute hardest speech I have ever endured. I can't even write about it, because I am unable to type through the tears. The only way I can explain it, is "The Ugly Cry" factor. (Translation: Not just teary, but the ugly face one morphs into while crying.)

Although I was hestitant on the party idea, I would not change it for anything. It was PERFECT and went off without a hitch. I am so thankful we did it, and I am even more thankful that Mike took the lead on the planning and execution. He really did an amazing job, and Bill and I are ever so grateful! The memory will be with us forever. (Not to mention Tyler had the BEST time and woke up this morning and said, "Wow, we had a really great party yesterday!")

I had a few people ask me how I was doing, and a few comments on how surprising it is that I haven't broken down yet. I have to make it very clear. I have broken down many, many times. There are moments that I literally can't hold it together and count every minute until Tyler and Bill go to bed so that I can sit by myself and cry. Some people have good days and bad days, well, my good and bad come in approximately five minute increments. It's quite the roller coaster ride! Even amongst the tears... yesterday was the greatest day we have had in a very long time.