Our Craziness

It's been a day... very circus-like! The hospital bed has arrived and it seems like it will be a huge help. We have it in our master bedroom since Bill told me awhile ago that downstairs would be too noisy and not private enough for him to rest comfortably.

He is still very out of it, and stayed that way the majority of the day. There is a lot of mumbling and many statements are said that don't make sense. He really isn't up much anymore, except to go to the bathroom. His pain has been kept under control, though, and he has been eating more than once a day. In complete honesty, things have changed pretty drastically this week. His "off" moments are more prevalent than not. Although I am unsure of a definite plan, we are meeting with a hospice nurse tomorrow for an evaluation to see our options. I am unsure if we will venture to the City of Hope on Monday, since it is for results that can be told in a phone conversation. Since he isn't thinking clearly, I don't know if he will still qualify to stay on the trial... tumor size isn't the only reason to halt treatment. We are taking things one day at a time.

To add to our insane drama... Bill's parents and my aunt were here, and I went upstairs to check on the patient. I was lying awkwardly on the bed and decided to turn back and kiss Bill on the forehead. I evidently turned wrong and dislocated my shoulder. It was intense pain and I yelled out (and made Bill jump). Joe came in and in the midst of me sweating bullets and starting to black out, he got me to the bed to lie back down. I kept trying to move my arm to pop it back in... NO LUCK. The irony is that my aunt was on the phone with Bill's doctor (although we were going to call 911) and he was able to direct Joe to move my arm a certain way. We BOTH finally heard it pop back into the joint. I will probably go get it checked out since this is the second time it has popped out. In fact, the last time was a year ago, almost to the day. I have never experienced this kind of pain, except of course, the last time it happened.

I am emotionally, physically, and mentally exhausted. I hope to get some much needed rest tonight. Ann is staying here tonight, in case I need an extra set of hands. It has been a rough one!